I'LL NEVER BE THAT BOY AGAIN!
It's almost 11:30 pm. I am supposed to be sleeping tight. Its cold and it's chilly night. I am still wondering why sleep didn't find essential to come to me. Maybe my lowering self esteem has been able to provoke sleep against me. I really don't know what to do. Suddenly my mind decides to go back to the past. I even have no idea why negative things decided to come fast forward. I know it's really annoying but I literally can't help myself. I look at my nails turning blue and I can't find out reason. I don't know if it happened due to agony, pain, fear, anger or anything else. I can't even ask it with anyone because its the case that happens maybe only to me. I don't know who else have stupid emotions connected to nails.
My mind starts to revolve back to the past, the past that taught me every kind of emotions. May it be happiness, cheerfulness, smile or torment, anger, fear, jealousy, hatred or whatsoever. Tears dripping out of my eyes were maybe the symbol that its useless to think about the past where I don't live anymore.
I have always been a proud boy, proud on whatever I have and whoever I am. I can't let these things to be hindrance in my path of perfection. And the people, responsible for everything bad that happened in my life, are now just the blurred images on my mind and yes, more probably those images are finally fading away. And I am thankful to those fading blurred images on my mind for turning me into a completely wonderful person as am today. I am thankful because I am able to love myself today and I really want to pamper myself to the extent so far. Thanks for changing me from merely a human being to a lovable human being.
I have turned into a person who believes in loving everyone. Yes, I do believe love and faith are the greatest ammunitions. I have learned to help everyone even when I can't expect any help from them anyway. I enjoy watching others smile and it feels best when I am the reason. I am always ready to sacrifice anything, even myself if it's worth sacrificing. I love to see people smiling all over. I love watching street animals enjoy food that I buy for them whenever possible. Only thing I enjoy the most is the care and affection I find from the animals I once helped. I love to see spark in their eyes. I am ready to help, inspire, support or motivate anyone anyway. I find pleasure in that. I can't betray anyone because I have once known what is it to be betrayed. I can enjoy love because I have once felt hated. I know wisdom because I was stupid once. I choose path of kindness because I know what cruelty feels like. I know how it feels to be afraid and alone, I won't let it happen with anyone again. I have enjoyed in having faith in others because I have known dangers that trust invites.
Maybe sleep realized its mistake by believing. It understood my self esteem can never be lowered at any cost. I feel sleepy.
No matter what, no matter how I changed, I love this change in me.
I am proud on what I am today.
I know I am smiling because I have chosen blessings over curses. It's life.
No, I'll never be that boy again!
My mind starts to revolve back to the past, the past that taught me every kind of emotions. May it be happiness, cheerfulness, smile or torment, anger, fear, jealousy, hatred or whatsoever. Tears dripping out of my eyes were maybe the symbol that its useless to think about the past where I don't live anymore.
I have always been a proud boy, proud on whatever I have and whoever I am. I can't let these things to be hindrance in my path of perfection. And the people, responsible for everything bad that happened in my life, are now just the blurred images on my mind and yes, more probably those images are finally fading away. And I am thankful to those fading blurred images on my mind for turning me into a completely wonderful person as am today. I am thankful because I am able to love myself today and I really want to pamper myself to the extent so far. Thanks for changing me from merely a human being to a lovable human being.
I have turned into a person who believes in loving everyone. Yes, I do believe love and faith are the greatest ammunitions. I have learned to help everyone even when I can't expect any help from them anyway. I enjoy watching others smile and it feels best when I am the reason. I am always ready to sacrifice anything, even myself if it's worth sacrificing. I love to see people smiling all over. I love watching street animals enjoy food that I buy for them whenever possible. Only thing I enjoy the most is the care and affection I find from the animals I once helped. I love to see spark in their eyes. I am ready to help, inspire, support or motivate anyone anyway. I find pleasure in that. I can't betray anyone because I have once known what is it to be betrayed. I can enjoy love because I have once felt hated. I know wisdom because I was stupid once. I choose path of kindness because I know what cruelty feels like. I know how it feels to be afraid and alone, I won't let it happen with anyone again. I have enjoyed in having faith in others because I have known dangers that trust invites.
Maybe sleep realized its mistake by believing. It understood my self esteem can never be lowered at any cost. I feel sleepy.
No matter what, no matter how I changed, I love this change in me.
I am proud on what I am today.
I know I am smiling because I have chosen blessings over curses. It's life.
No, I'll never be that boy again!
Rahul Gupta
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